"...most wheat-sensitive people have more subtle, delayed-onset reactions, such as postnasal drip, sinus congestion, or joint aches one to three days after eating wheat."*

I don't have the joint aches, but I've had sinus problems for at least the past 15 years, and it's not seasonal allergies. It's something constant and ever-present. Mold, mildew, and dust come and go, but wheat has always been there. And soon it won't be.

Gluten Sensitivity*

With regard to wheat sensitivity, according to this site, "[m]any symptoms may develop that are not intestinal in nature. These include fatigue, muscle spasms, arthritis, bone pain, fibromyalgia, irritability, depression, headaches, numbness of the hands and other nerve problems, concentration problems and seizures. Due to its toxic effects, it can be an underlying trigger for chronic candida and also lower a person's resistance to other chronic conditions such as Epstein-Barr virus." Well, I've got the irritability, fatigue, muscle spasms, depression, headaches, and concentration problems. That's 6 out of 11 -- more than half strikes me as a positive for wheat sensitivity.

This site also helped me figure out what these hive-like things are that I keep getting.

"Another major symptom that can develop from the ingestion of gluten is a skin condition called dermatitis herpetiformis, which creates raised patches of skin which are pimple like and can turn into small watery blisters. They can become extremely itchy and cause burning pain."

I don't get them as often now, come to think of it -- most certainly due to the fact that I've been avoiding grains because of the high starch factor. And I never got them in patches. Just one or two here and there, but several a week. I always thought they were hives because they were little and itchy like the dickens. I was beginning to fear that I may be allergic to my kitty kats!! Yay! I'm not! It's gluten instead, which is no longer such an emotional issue for me. Coolio.

I suppose it won't be too awful, since my main craving/addiction was bread, which I can't eat now because of the sugar content. Now I will opt for wheat- (preferably gluten-) free bread with no sugar. It can be done. Need to get me some gluten-free tamari or soy sauce soon. And maybe some almond bread... and gluten-free waffles with fruit and whipped cream. I'm already salivating... I should go eat now.

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16 May 2005 @ 01:44 am

busy as a bee
I went to THREE parties last night. THREE. I have not yet fully recovered.

Had lots of fun at all of them, even the middle one where I knew only one other person (outside of my own people). Granted, I got really stoned there, too. That was good. It helped me cope with the crazy amounts of cigarette smoke.

Got home at 4:30 and crashed.

A few of the many things I have learned this week:

• getting the munchies while one is on a seriously restricted diet of no sugar, no wheat and Very Low Carb-intake REALLY REALLY SUCKS!! (yay for green olives!)
• chopping jalapenos with bare hands and then having sex later in the evening (even after washing one's hands several times) makes for an invigorating and memorable experience (don't try this at home, kids. truly.)
• I need to be on a multi-vitamin.
• The Llama Song is a fucking brilliant piece of workmanship, best appreciated when stoned.

21 May 2005 @ 03:48 am

love and stress: food madness
was mega-stressed, but N and L made it all better. I love them.

crab cakes. crab cakes are also love.
and salmon.
and KD mac-n-cheese, which makes me sleepy and stuffy, but does not give me a headache.
and four episodes of season 1 Buffy
and finding out that pomegranate juice mixed with plain yogurt and cardamom-spiced homemade whipped cream is Big Time Love!

so are friends who will make weird food for me at my request.

Morton's steakhouse is also love. Begrudging love, but love nonetheless. (spiffy, high-end restaurants do not impress me so easily, esp. when I have major trouble finding something I can eat that doesn't have sugar in the accompanying sauce or dressing).
However, the food was amazing
the tab was astounding
the company heart-warming
& the pastry-chef, a goddess incarnate.

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24 May 2005 @ 07:59 pm

oh my leetle tacos, how I love thee so!
I had TACO BELL today for the first time in months, and certainly for the first time since I started my diet.

I ate 2 regular hard-shell tacos with sauce. No bad reaction whatsoever. I was worried that the taco shells would be too much, esp. after having had bad-for-me food earlier in the day that undoubtedly had sugar in it. But the only thing I've had to deal with today is sleepiness, which shouldn't surprise me, since I haven't had a full night's sleep for a while now.

And Taco Bell has graciously put up a nutritional table for all their food. 2 reg. tacos have a total of 26g of carbs and 16g of protein. Also has 50mg of cholesterol and 20g of fat, 8g of which are saturated. I don't care much about that -- just concerned about the carbs and the protein. Oh, and disturbingly enough, there are no carbs in the taco sauce. There is a whole lotta sodium, a little Vit. A and a little iron, and nothing else. What thehell is in that stuff? Regardless, no carbs means no sugary badness for me, means happy li'l kitfox who can treat herself to Taco Bell every once in a while. Yay!

I've also discovered that mixing juice into whipped cream creates seriously good-tasting stuff. Add plain yogurt and voilà, instant heaven with actual nutritional value.

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27 June 2005 @ 08:47 pm

Sunday evening after Pride
We checked out FunkAsia on the South Stage for about an hour and a half, then headed to Tormenta's for pool time and after-pool fun. We checked out at around midnight and headed up to Golden Griddle for FOOD 'cuz we were starvin'. I, uh, did somethin' crazy while we were there.

I had pancakes with syrup. And caffeine.

I haven't had pancakes or syrup since I started my diet 3 months ago, nor have I had caffeine. I ordered hot tea, a 3-egg omelette with feta (they added spinach accidently, but that's cool), and 3 buckwheat pancakes, which almost assuredly had regular wheat in as well. And the syrup. Oh wow, I had SYRUP!!

And it was really really really really goooooood. ( I want more.) It felt so awesome to be able to eat like a normal person again. And surprisingly enough, there haven't been any ill-effects, so far. I washed it all down with a large glass of milk and proceeded to enjoy the ensuing sugar high. Sugar highs are my favourite high. Sugar totally beats all the other drugs I've tried so far (which really don't number very many at all).

But yeah, nothing bad happened -- like, no heavy-hitting lethargy or immediately stuffed up nose from the wheat. No major crash, no hugely pissy behaviour, no crankiness from the sugar. I was up until 6am, slept soundly, got up at 2:30-ish and have had a really good day today.

My new mantra for the next little while, though, is "Must Not Abuse the Sugar."

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01 July 2005 @ 02:23 am

bananas, tryptophan
WoweeZowee! I think I may have just uncovered why I have such a huge banana addiction (and I'm not talkin' about the fellas' fellas, wink wink nudge nudge.)

Bananas contain tryptophan, which becomes serotonin. This makes me happy.
Bananas contain vitamin B6, which help me cope with stress. This makes me calm.
Bananas contain potassium and iron and fibre. This makes me strong and, uh, regular.

And speaking of tryptophan, I found a really interesting article (L-Tryptophan - nature’s answer to Prozac) that discusses tryptophan, serotonin, depression, obesity, protein vs. carbs, and why 5-HTP is hard on the gut. It even has references! Granted, it is on a site selling L-Tryptophan and other "smart drugs", but the article is well-written and answers a lot of questions I've had pop up in my quest to learn more about diet and depression, so I'm sharing it with you fine folk.

One thing about tryptophan that needs mentioning is the fact that it has to compete against multiple other amino acids. The author of the article I link to above states, "In any normal diet, tryptophan is the least plentiful of all 22 amino acids. A typical diet provides only 1 to 1.5 grams of tryptophan per day. To compound the problem, there is much competition in the body for this scarce amino acid." It's not only the precursor to serotonin, but it also helps the body create other proteins, in addition to Vitamin B3 (niacinamide), if you have a deficiency. It's a busy chemical that 'everyone' wants a piece of and many times, there's not enough to go around.

Other foods that are high tryptophan (much higher than bananas):
100g roasted chicken breast (362mg)
100g roasted turkey breast (342mg)
100g oil-roasted, salted sunflower seeds (306mg)
1 cup raw spinach (254mg)
4oz cottage cheese (157mg)
1med. avocado (50-85mg)
1 large hardboiled egg (76.5mg)
1 med. baked potato (67.5mg)
1oz feta cheese (56.5mg)
1 cup asparagus (52.2mg)

Also, something to remember, tryptophan is more easily delivered to your brain when accompanied by starchy carbohydrates. So the more carbs you have with your tryptophan, the more apt it is to do its thang, which is quite possibly why bananas seem more effective at producing Big Happy in me than, say, things with protein in them. The tryptophan doesn't have to work as hard to get to my brain because it doesn't have a massive presence of all the other amino acids competing against it, and it's relatively high on the Glycemic Index (though with a fairly low Glycemic Load of 11), so it has a lot of starches and sugars to carry it to its destination.

This would also explain why people go dead after Thanksgiving dinner -- it's all the starches one eats with the turkey that a) will make one sleepy in the first place, and b) will help the tryptophan get to your brain more effectively, which makes you feel dopey and satisfied.

More research is afoot. The next dietary installment will focus on carbohydrates.

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11 July 2005 @ 06:23 am

a note
i had a banana-flavoured kitkat today. it made me think of my friend, friedtoast, because he sent me my very first banana-flavoured kitkat two years ago all the way from Japan. it also made me think of pyralea because of where the banana flavouring comes from.

the kitkat, despite being laden with sugar and wheat, caused no discernible harm. This is because, unlike the super yummy banana-chocolate-mint-milkshake from Baskin Robbins I had last Tuesday night (which gave me an extremely hideous sugar crash from fucking HELL), i prepared accordingly for it: 3-egg scramble for brekkie + a huge chunk o' cheese later in the day with the kitkat right after the cheese and then more cheese right after the kitkat. i can safely experiment with my tastebuds, as long as I remember to nuke the baddies with protein before and after the sanctioned invasion.

12 July 2005 @ 01:02 pm

I am expanding my repertoire of bad behaviour
last night, I had a Mars bar and half a Skor bar, all with no sugar crash (I ate cheese before and after, mind you, but that's part of the process). I started with the Skor, which I still love the taste of, but the smell of it really turned my stomach, so I gave up and moved on to the Mars bar. Mmmmmmmm.... Nougat.... It's funny how much smell imposes on taste. They say it's the most powerful of the five senses, and I'm learning more about it all the time (when I can breathe through my nose, that is.)

And I'm also obviously learning how my body can handle sugar. The process is a lot of fun! I guess I'm making up for not taking any chemistry classes in school, so I get to learn about my own body chemistry and experiment with it. I only wish I didn't have such a problem with wheat, since an entire, vast category of sweets involves wheat. There's no getting around the sleepy, lethargic effect it has on me -- unless I dope myself with, like, half a milligram of speed or something... but there's the stuffy nose to contend with as well, which even Allegra D can't stand up to. Grr. So it is a small treat every once in a while.

I will next have to try ice cream again. That'll be tricky, since I have no idea about portion control. What it says on the carton and what my body can handle are two vastly different things. Perhaps I'll try it out at Dutch Dreams or Baskin Robbins, where I get scoops and can't sneak more afterwards.

I really do love experimentation. And I like trying out foods that I used to take for granted. Everything looks different from this side and I'm enjoying the view more and more -- not just because I've figured out how to eat sweets, but because I'm learning more about my body. I'm actually really grateful that I realised I was hypoglycemic and did something about it. Most of us take our skin suits for granted -- don't even think about what actually goes on inside, just expect everything to work properly. It's when adversity has to be overcome that appreciation for what one has creeps in and slowly fills one's field of vision. This makes me stupidly happy. Life is just so incredible!

Yaaaaaay!!

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15 July 2005 @ 01:38 pm

cereal!
I just had cereal. It was homemade and fun to eat, but it probably sounds overwhelmingly healthy and boring to most: raw cut oats, raw sunflower seeds, sliced almonds, fresh blueberries, and a thinly sliced banana with skim milk. Very very yummy. It's like Alpen or Muslix without the bad stuff, like wheat flakes and dried fruit.

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16 July 2005 @ 02:53 am

munchies!
getting the munchies with your SO is fun. we made excellent food tonight, and I discovered that I do not like fried bananas (which I tried earlier today), and I do not like ripened fried plantain. I prefer starchy, crispy plantain, as opposed to sweet mushy plantain. Fried plantain with black bean sauce is just SO GOOD! We didn't have that, but we had onions and jalapenos and corn and black beans and cheese and yogurt. To this, we added the sweetish plantain, which tasted much better than anticipated. perfect munchie food when you're tired of chips and cookies and want something different.

and now to bed for the post-munchie sleeping.

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17 July 2005 @ 09:01 pm

cravings
i've been craving oatmeal cream pies. i should figure out how to remedy this -- need to discover a corresponding sugar/wheat-free recipe that will satisfy the depraved beasties that are my taste buds.

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22 July 2005 @ 06:57 am

This really chaps my hide. >:( [sugar, wheat, opioids, addiction, salvia]
I'm reading this article on how sugar damages skin elasticity, causing wrinkles and it all sounds copacetic until I get to this part:

Q: What steps can sugar junkies take to save their skin?

A: People will experience a rapid rise in blood sugar from eating skin-destroying sweets and carbohydrates, but what goes up must come down, and their mood will soon crash and give them a real addiction craving for more sugar. The best thing a sugar addict can do to deal with their cravings is to very carefully control their blood sugar and insulin by staying away from the bad carbohydrates and eating more protein for just a few days. At the same time their skin is becoming firm, their blood sugar will stabilize and their cravings will go away. They're free! Then they might have a piece of chocolate once in awhile, but it's based on their free will instead of "I have to have it."

Free, my ass! No more cravings after just a few days?? Then why, after MONTHS of being on a nearly-completely sugar-free diet do I STILL DREAM of eating COOKIES, DOUGHNUTS, and CAKE with FROSTING? I am NOT free. I do NOT feel free at all. My body may not feel like it needs sugar, but my mind salivates, drenching my neurons in sugary lust.

Hrm... Looking at what I just wrote that I crave leads me to wonder whether it's the sugar/wheat combination that does it. I know wheat can be addictive.

[insert many many hours of required research time]

Ah ha!

"The high carbohydrate intake of depressed patients, especially in the winter months, may not be related to brain tryptophan and brain serotonin levels but to the more complex brain effects of gluten proteins, food allergic mechanisms, and/or light-deprivation changes in hormone regulators such as melatonin. This 'seasonal affective disorder' could be another food allergic disease, increased by altered food intake in the winter, and not just a light-dependent hormonal change. Many depressed, over-eating patients have obvious symptoms of food allergy and improve when they try the clearing diet which is high in carbohydrate but relatively free of allergenic effects. Eating wheat-containing foods triggers a typical craving, compulsive-eating cycle, an addiction pattern." -Mechanisms of Brain Disturbances, S. J. Gislason MD [my emphasis]

Wheat has morphine-like effect for some

In some people, the gluten found in wheat (and rye, oats, and barley) is "not completely digested, leaving small protein fragments called peptides. Certain of the peptides derived from gluten... get through the intestinal wall into the blood stream, and are carried to the brain, where they have opioid activity--that is, they act like morphine! People with this problem are actually addicted to the gluten-derived opioid peptides (called gluten exorphins).... While under the influence of the opioids, the [person] may not feel pain, and may seem spacey. As the dose of the opioid peptides wears off, [he/she] goes into a withdrawal state, just like a drug addict, and may behave in an agitated or aggressive manner." (Nutritional Interventions for Children with FASD by Diane Black, Ph.D.)

So yes, wheat gluten affects some people in a fashion similar to morphine and/or opium. Casein, from dairy, does the same thing, but different people have different sensitivities. While I was vegetarian, I more or less gave up dairy sans problème; however, giving up wheat has proven extremely difficult, so therein lies my sensitivity. This would explain the intense doughnut cravings, the cookie dreams, the literal salivation while walking through the bread aisle at the grocery store. And you wonder why they say to bake bread right before showing your house. It's supposed to make people more apt to want to buy your house... but they don't tell you why. For many people, bread is an addictive substance that, upon eating, produces feelings of well-being, comfort, and a sedate happiness. Hrm... sounds like a mild opiate high to me.

"Even long after the person has stopped using opiates, brain abnormalities can persist, causing feelings of discomfort and craving for more of the drug to relieve these feelings." Moyers on Addiction: Herion, a Close to Home Animation

Discomfort, I know thee well. It's a very emotional ordeal for me, and I'm searching for something to help put my psychophysiology at ease so that I don't have to deal with the cravings. According to Erowid, "psychological symptoms [due to withdrawal from opioid dependence] can be quite painful. Depression, mood swings, hypersensitivity to pain are some common symptoms." Tell me about it. I want wheat more than I want sugar, sometimes. But because there is such a high instance of sugar being used in processed wheat products, it's more that I want sugared wheat than either sugar or wheat alone. Given the choice between a sucker, a pastry, or pita, I'm gonna go with the pastry 90% of the time.

Salvia Divinorum: an answer to quelling wheat addiction?

Happily, I came across this article (complete with scientific references, too!) that discusses the use of a Salvia Divinorum extract, Salvinorin A (aka U69593), to treat heroin and cocaine addiction. While cocaine is a whole different ball of wax, heroin is an opiate. Salvinorin A is touted as the "only known non-nitrogenous kappa opioid receptor selective agonist". Um, as far as I can tell, this means it helps biochemically negate cravings for addictive substances by stimulating the kappa opioid receptors in the body. I still need to learn more about the different types of opioid receptors (mu, kappa, sigma, delta, epsilon), their relation to one another, how drug addiction comes into play (mostly with the mu, delta, and kappa receptors), and what it means when one type of opioid receptor is stimulated versus another type. Regardless, this gives me an even greater reason to give Salvia a go, even though I hear the side effects aren't anything to look forward to. But who knows? It might help even a little. Plus, there are spiritual reasons for use of the plant, as well.

So yeah, wheat (and it looks like gluten in general) is just as bad for me as sugar. Sugar is more physically addictive; whereas, wheat seems to affect me more psychologically (at least, as far as withdrawal goes).

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05 August 2005 @ 03:21 pm

when indulgences go bad
i had ice cream twice yesterday and once today. I barely had enough protein to cover the ice cream indulgences of yesterday and experienced a bit of agitation as my blood sugar dropped (as opposed to plummetted). Today, I had extremely little protein to pad out the sugar, and as a result, I feel like utter horse shit. I am cranky, bitchy, neurotic, anxious, teary-eyed, and guilt-ridden. I do not want to leave the house. I was supposed to be somewhere earlier today and I am not ready to go. I still have to walk the dog, but I feel paralyzed because if I walk the dog then I am not going where I need to be going, so in times like this, I sit and do nothing and feel even worse. I want to sit in a dark corner and surround myself with oblivion.

I just ate two eggs, but I feel like I should eat the other ten to make up for what crazy shit my body is being put through because I was a stupidhead and decided to do something that I knew was bad for me.

Payback's a bitch.

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15 August 2005 @ 03:45 pm

food angst
Today is an off day, as in, I feel off. I always feel off when I have food dreams because my food dreams inevitable involve eating or wanting to eat food I should not. Last night, I dreamt of a Very Large blueberry cake with thick, sugary, blueberry splotched icing. Some lady had made it for me and my dad to share, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not eating it, but I was torn because I knew I shouldn't eat it. I remember looking at it, wanting it so badly, teling her that I normally don't eat cake, but I would make an exception this once, and then reconsidering that decision because I knew I would feel worse off if I did eat the cake. I woke up before the cake ever even got cut.

Lynx went to Mac's earlier because she didn't have any grain-type substance to go with her breakfast. For her, grains are a necessary part of making a meal complete. This is very annoying for me, because A) I know that grains are not necessary for a well-rounded, healthy diet, and B) I very much want but cannot have most of what she eats. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me, but coming from a tumultuous cake-dream, seeing her go buy whole grain bread and stick it in the toaster just makes me want to cry. I miss fruit muffins, sweet bread (zucchini bread, banana bread, etc.), cake, doughnuts, english muffins, and most of all, whole grain bread, toasted with delicious melty butter and peanut butter or cinnamon and sugar. I know I can buy gluten-free, sugar-free bread, but it's expensive and I can't eat it all before it goes stale or moldy. It's also very difficult to get moist bread that I can eat. Most of it's all dry-ish and very dense, which isn't very appetizing, and the lack of sugar makes it taste wrong.

I am sad and grouchy. Honestly, living with the constant influx of stuff I can't eat, I'm surprised I'm not sadder and grouchier than I am. It all feels like a very bad dream.

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13 September 2005 @ 03:38 am

heaven in my mouth
baked sweet potato chunks mashed with some thawed strawberries plus a wee bit o' juice, and a li'l bit o' plain yogurt

mix together with melted butter, cinnamon, and ground nutmeg

absolute yumminess!

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20 September 2005 @ 09:28 pm

Big Bad Sugar: Toronto Star article
Read an article on the sugar industry today on the Toronto Star website, and this tidbit really caught my eye:

Link to Full Article

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21 September 2005 @ 12:31 am

food
we hare having a very late dinner tonight: chicken thighs with onions, garlic, carrots, and cauliflower, seasoned with sea salt, freshly ground black pepper, homegrown thyme and sage, organic rosemary, and a shot of lemon juice. It's in the oven, so I don't know how it'll turn out. I can't believe it's this late and we're Just Now Making Dinner. Where did the night go??

I have totally spaced on what it is that I am supposed to be doing tomorrow with M. I haven't looked at anything, and I've been eating date bars like mad, so that has undoubtedly contributed to my spaciness, but fuck they're good! And the sooner I eat them all, the sooner they'll be gone so I won't have them tempting me like the wonderful evil they are. I have proven myself to be (mostly) completely untrustworthy where sweets are concerned. I suck.

ETA: the food was delish! I feel all happy and grounded and in love with vegetables and baked chicken thighs.

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26 September 2005 @ 01:33 pm

Thanksgiving Plans and potential menu
Lynx and I have been invited to spend Thanksgiving with her parents up North and with N's parents out near Picton. I'm not certain what I want to do. Part of me wants to be with both groups of people, and another part wants to be with all my friends here like last year.

Most of all, I want to be able to make sure there is food I can eat. Lots of it. Most of my favourite holiday dishes contain sugar and wheat, meaning I won't be able to eat them with everyone else. I want to be able to make my own variants of them and have them well-received. The only way I can be certain of this is if M. and I hide out from the rest of the world and make our own Thanksgiving celebration.

In case people hadn't noticed, food is terribly important to me. It totally governs my emotions, both from an internal perspective (too much sugar and I go manic) and an external perspective (if everyone else gets goodies, I feel really upset if I'm left out). Autumn food is an especial favourite. I love apples, maple syrup, pumpkin, squash, cranberries, turkey, etc. But I have to tweak nearly all the recipes I enjoy in order for them to be safe for me to eat.

Recipe Ideas
I want to be able to make a cranberry dish that is not only palatable, but is yummy and safe (meaning no sugar). Cranberries stewed with pineapple juice, mandarin oranges (can I get these canned in their own juice? I always find them in light syrup, which is a no-go for me.), allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon, a little glycerin-based vanilla, maybe a touch of anise.

I want to be able to make a crustless pumpkin/squash/or sweet potato pie (um, would that then be a custard?) Or, alternatively, experiment with nutflours as crust. Mmmm... hazelnut, almond, and pecan crust with pumpkin filling and real whipped cream on top.

Lynx wants to make stuffing that is me-safe, too. I was thinking, perhaps, something with pecans/walnuts, wild rice, and cranberries, with onions and garlic and brown rice flour and milk to hold it all together or some sugar-free/gluten-free bread bits, with thyme and sage.

And since white potatoes are not something I should really indulge in, cauliflower tends to make an apt substitution (for me, as I like cauliflower). Creamy whipped cauliflower with cumin seeds (or was it caraway?) and cheese.

Green beans with butter, parsley, salt, pepper, garlic, and nut of choice -- cashews, pecans, almond slivers (I'm big with the nuts, can ya tell? It's 'cuz I are one. Hee!).

Gravy could be made thickened with brown rice flour instead of regular wheat flour.

Gingered carrots. Yum. Or dilled carrots for a more savoury alternative.

Oh, and the turkey. Duh. But nothing special needs to happen with that. No bacon on the outside, à la foxesdaughter's specialty. It tastes great! But bacon's cured with sugar, which then seeps into the turkey meat. Enh. Not so good.

So, menu recap:
turkey
gravy, thicked with brown rice flour
stuffing
mashed cauliflower
greenbeans
carrots
cranberry dish
pumpkin pie with nut crust

I'm making attempts to be really good and not cheat. Preparing well in advance is the only way to be sure this happens.

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27 September 2005 @ 11:56 am

what I cannot and should not eat
Yesterday, I mentioned that I would post a list of what I can and cannot eat, so here goes:

Cannot
For reasons of sensitivity not having to do with blood sugar:

For reasons of blood sugar sensitivity:

I cheat every once in a while with the sugars (probably too often, but I'm trying to be better) and really rarely with wheat and processed things. Not with the bell peppers or celery. Ow. Pain.

Also, stevia is technically ok for me, but it's overpowering if not used correctly, so I don't use it all that often. Maybe if I got a stevia plant, I could use a leaf or two when I wanted something mildly sweet, rather than the concentrated liquid or powder.

Avoid/Heavily Restrict

Ironically enough, sweet potatoes are just fine -- in moderation, of course. I can't eat them at every meal, or every day, even. But they're really yummy and are easily made into a dessertable food, which quells my desire for things like, oh, doughnuts, which are evil incarnate.

Foods that I simply don't like are as follows:
most mushrooms (white/button, and cremini are fine), unless shredded (no portabello steaks for me, thank you very much. Gak!)
eggplant
cooked spinach, unless it's in something, like a quiche
parsnips
bok choy
tomatoes: pureed is delicious; juice is disgusting; chunks need masking but I'm getting better.
melons (ew!)
pork (with the exception of bacon, which I love, but which is also cured with sugar, so I tend to avoid)
brazil nuts
stinky and/or runny cheese
shrimp, scallops, mollusks, oysters, etc. (lobster and crab are ok, though)

Grains are tricky. Technically, they're kinda ok, but they tend to be high in carbs and some score really high on the glycemic index. This means, for me, that they make me flush, which I find terribly uncomfortable. Some people like it; I do not.

I may be forgetting some things, but this is the bulk of it. Everything else, I can and usually will eat: meat, dairy, fruits, veggies, and legumes.

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03 October 2005 @ 07:56 pm

When I am hungry and poor, I get creative
in that mildly-insane, raised-eyebrows sort of way. Tonight, for instance, I made an especially interesting dish:

2 qt. pot (because I didn't want to wash the skillet)
li'l bit canola oil
tsp or so cumin seeds
cover until seeds are more or less fully popped

add about a cup (the last of what was in the bag) of frozen green beens and stir madly while steam pours forth from the pot (frozen beans in oily pot = noisy steam).

When green beans get quiet, add too many red pepper flakes and then shrug.

add the last of the minced garlic (1/2 tsp)
add half of the remaining minced ginger (3/4 tsp)
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

add whole can of tuna, juice and all
stir

add flax seed (1/2 tbs)

scan spice rack and look for goodies to add. decide chinese five spice powder looks appealing. add a pinch.

add 2 capfuls of wheat-free tamari and a generous squirt of lime juice, stir and serve.

eat most of 1 helping and decide that plain yoghurt might be interesting (and might cut the heat from the red pepper flakes). am correct in hypothesis. yoghurt is nummy with crazy tuna lime greenbean spicy soy mess! Yay! success!

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08 October 2005 @ 04:43 am

Berry goodness
my cranberry relish is fucking AWESOME! I think it's the best I've ever had (and made!) And my cutest pie pumpkin ever made exactly enough mush for pumpkin custard. Don't know how that'll turn out yet. Will post the results when we return from family holiday time Monday nightish.

I feel all autumnal. Yay!

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11 October 2005 @ 04:35 pm

Back again
We got a catnip plant! Yay! Miko LOVES it in that special cat-lovin' sorta way. She discovered the cuttings, but not the actual plant, so that's good. Plant is safe and Miko got nipped-up.

My pumpkin experiment didn't work out so well, so I'm going to have to try it again. I think I'm just going to give up and use brown rice syrup. I know it's taking the easy way out, but I love the taste so much! Thankfully, my cranberry compote makes my mouth happy. No cheating there.

N's family fed us well and took my dietary restrictions into account where possible -- even thickened the gravy with cornstarch instead of flour so that I could have some. Gravy! Yay! I learned that I do not like turnips because they are bitter. I learned that mashed cauliflower fucking ROCKS.

I shall go work on knitting and trying to perfect my pumpkin custard.

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12 October 2005 @ 02:02 am

food
I am in the midst of my second pumpkin custard attempt. Yes, it's 2am. I do all my baking at night. It keeps the, um, flies away. Or something. It's good for the, er... dreams of the rest of the house. Yes. That's it. Ahem.

I added 2 heaping soup-spoons full of brown rice syrup this time. I'm hoping for a mild caramel richness, but I'm uncertain of how much syrup to add in order to achieve that: trial and error. I don't want to add too much. Part of me thinks I did, and another part says it'll be just fine.

I keep wanting to put whole pecans on top of the pie before it sets completely, drizzle it all with brown rice syrup, and stick it back in the oven. Maybe on attempt three.

I discovered I left my quinoa-millet sourdough loaf at N's parents' place. This is upsetting mainly because tonight Lynxie and I made borscht (yay! it's officially autumn now!) and I had no bread for dipping. :( The sourness of the sour cream and the apple cider vinegar would have complimented the sourdough very nicely. Alas, something to remember for next time. Oh, and the beet greens were so good! Nice and firm, they cooked up very well. We added beef chunks this time. It was the first time L had prepared beef ever. And my first time for beefy borscht. I think we should add more next time. And cauliflower.

I also discovered I left my large clear mixing bowl chez eux. I hope it finds its way back to me soon. I hate it when my kitchen bits go missing. I am covetous of my kitchen bits. I truly am.

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18 October 2005 @ 12:22 am

autumn stir-fry
olive oil
onions
thyme, sea salt, freshly ground black pepper
carrots
ginger
red chard stem
cranberries
raw, shelled (green) pumpkin seeds
peas
red chard leaves

*for further refining of recipe, I would suggest replacing the pumpkin seeds with chopped pecans, using the chard stem as an additional dish and add in broccoli and/or green beans to replace the chard

Serve with mashed garlic cauliflower
and protein of choice: fried tofu, tofurky, turkey, chicken, steak, etc.

I use flaked tuna and lime. Not perfect, but interesting, to say the least. Lime chicken would be better, but I didn't have that.

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18 October 2005 @ 11:53 pm

more food experimentation
baked cod in cranberry sauce with sautéed green beans and sweet potatoes

cranberry sauce:
1 small onion, sliced
~1/2 cup cranberries, stemmed and rinsed
heaping tablespoon of freshly chopped ginger
1/4 cup salted butter
sea salt, freshly ground black pepper, thyme to taste

cook on medium heat until it looks like it needs to simmer
add 1/4 cup milk and realise that cranberries are acidic enough to curdle milk
shrug and enjoy the new "texture" your sauce will have
wish that you had found a better way of expanding the sauce
add tsp of pineapple juice to cut tartness of berries a wee bit

when sauce has reduced enough, slather it all over 4 pieces of frozen cod and pop into 400F oven
check repeatedly until done: about 15-20 minutes

veggies:
sauté 1 medium sliced onion in olive oil
add 1 1/2 cups sliced sweet potatoes, stir
add sea salt, ground pepper to taste
then add 1 tsp freshly chopped ginger
and thyme, also to taste

cook on medium heat until potatoes begin to soften and turn a more vibrant orange
add 1 cup frozen green beans
stir until coated, let cook for a couple of minutes
ponder what else to add and decide to experiment (to astounding success, I might add) with nutmeg and cayenne, again to taste

add a couple of tbsp of water, simmer covered until veggies are just done, then take cover off and let excess water evaporate a bit

Serve with cranberried cod, regret the curdy grittiness of milk in sauce, but go back for seconds because it tastes so damned good! and lick plate clean while wishing there was more.

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24 October 2005 @ 05:46 pm

Made an omelette with whipping cream instead of milk. fluffy fluffy fluffy! Mixed in some cinnamon and a bit of salt; served with diced cinnamony sweet potatoes and sliced cinnamony apples cooked in berry juice (just the apples in the juice, not the sweet potatoes). Fantastically good stuff! I think I should experiment with pancakes.

Ate pumpkin pie Saturday. Crust included. First time in months I've consciously chosen to eat a wheaty substance. Just got tired of alternative this and alternative that. Had a headache on Sunday as a result. Go me.

Am trying to eat more vegetables. Am toying with the idea of forcing myself to go on the candida diet. Got another yeast infection friday and they never really seem to go away entirely. I don't really have most of the symptoms of systemic candida, but I do get mild yeast infections with annoying frequency. Maybe it'll help. Personally, I think I depend too much on dairy and fruit in my current diet. I don't really get enough vegetables. This could be a way to kick myself in the ass and eat my veggies. Idunno. It could also be a way to drive myself and others insane. Won't know until I try; we're all afeared. Want to try soy milk again. I can get VitaSoy across the street, which is good. Wonder if eliminating dairy for a week or more would help clear my sinuses. Getting rid of wheat did most of that, but there's still congestion. Need to mentally gear myself up for doing without dairy for a bit. I just want to see if I feel any sort of physical or mental improvements. Must eat more greens. And almonds. And sesame seeds. I feel a recipe formulating.

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24 October 2005 @ 11:25 pm

Tuna with Swiss Chard
Yummy dinner! Makes one serving.

1 half small onion, sliced, sautéed in skillet with olive oil
add salt and pepper; cook till onions become translucentish
add two stalks red swiss chard, sliced like you would celery

la da dee da
stir stir

add sunflower seeds (mine were of the salted roasted variety)
stir thoroughly
add half can tuna (don't drain juices from can, add a little with the tuna)

la la la
stir stir
la la la

add minced ginger and minced garlic, more salt and pepper, all to taste
stir thoroughly
add swiss chard greens, chopped
stir thoroughly

sautée until greens look cooked

add 1 capful lemon juice, stir, quell tummy monster (er, Eat!).

Clean plate; wish you made more, or rather wish that you had eaten more during the day so that this would be enough because normally it would, you twit. You've really got to take better care of yourself, you know. But at least this dish is dairy, gluten, sugar and yeast free. Low in carbs and decently high in protein. So that makes you feel better, you picky bastard.

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26 October 2005 @ 02:47 am
Went to a new-for-me corner store and got two more pumpkins. I want to be able to cook them up and freeze them so I can enjoy pumpkiny goodness throughout the year. The freezer is fast becoming my best friend. Cranberries survive in the freezer really damned well. I have been stockpiling them. And I discovered that the easiest popsicle-type thing to create for me is a frozen half of a banana. Sooooooo gooooooood!!! *gnaw gnaw munch munch drool float*

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28 October 2005 @ 06:14 pm

Sicko on a journey toward health
I have a head cold. I feel ucky. I am all stuffed up and pathetic and very Ferris Buehller, only for real. I am very glad that it's not the flu because I don't like achiness. Achiness sucks. Right now, it's only sinuses that are wreaking havoc with my happy. So I'm a bit spacey and dizzy and tired, but not exhausted. And my ears click when I swallow.

I have wool socks on my feet and my super pink, long-sleeved shirt of elfin Nepalese goodness with my hoodie all zipped up over top of it and a wool hat on my head. Oh, and pants.

I started my day with berries, yogurt, and almond butter and lemon-ginger tea. Lots of tea. A whole pot. Then Nikos made me an omelette with soy milk! I am shocked and pleased by this because he ate some, too, and didn't retch! Yay! (It wasn't retch-worthy in the least -- it was very good; he's just usually anti-soy on sheer principle).

I have had 1 gram of Vitamin C, so far, with probably another gram in the offing later today. Raspberry chewable C. Mmmmm..... And my multi-vitamin, and Omega-3, zinc, biotin, and probiotics. This is what I usually have, minus the extra zinc and C. I still need to acquire olive leaf and bentonite.

And I'm drinking Pau d'Arco tea, which isn't too bad. It has a subtly sweet, unremarkable sort of flavour. It's helpfully anti-fungal, which is not for the cold, but for the candida diet I'm gradually easing into, which I'm doing because I have mild but persistently annoying problem with the yeast beast, and because it's a way to figure out if I have any bit of sinus-related dairy sensitivity, plus it'll force me to eat more good-for-you-me vegetables.

I've been doing fairly well with minimal dairy. I'm certainly not addicted to it like with wheat. No cravings to speak of. This makes me happy. I wish I didn't have a cold so that I could tell whether the diminished amount of dairy in my system would positively affect the amount of sinus congestion I typically experience. Oh well. I will try to keep up with it as best I can for as long as I feel necessary. Maybe it'll help; maybe it won't. But I think it's worth a go.

My first-go at tuna patties
1 can flaked tuna, do not drain
1 med. carrot, peeled and grated
2 tbs. tahini
spoonful of minced garlic and ginger
1 handful of raw sunflower seeds
1 tsp flax seeds
cumin, salt

combine ingredients and sauté in olive oil. Serve with lemon juice.

Result: a little tahini-y but very edible. Lynx loved'em!

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05 November 2005 @ 03:42 am

cheater
Things are getting pretty desperate when a huge diet cheat consists of a single stale, sugar-sweetened, gluten-free waffle slathered in vegetable margerine with half a teaspoon of brown rice syrup and less than a tablespoon of berry juice, followed by a couple of fork-fulls of plain yogurt. It was sooo good. And so very pathetic. And to think, I turned down having a bowl full of lemon-herbed peas as a snack because it seemed too high in carbs for this late hour.

I am so smrt.

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12 November 2005 @ 04:44 pm

diet
I realised just a bit ago that I'm now more or less on a paleo diet. This makes me happy because a) it's working for me, and b) things paleo make me fuzzy and gleeful. I feel all in touch with my inner tribal shaman on a practical level now. Shiney.

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14 November 2005 @ 09:14 pm

seasonal food disorder
For the past three days, I've been having serious sugar cravings for the first time in a long long time. I'm trying really hard not to actually have sugar, having lots of fruit instead. Night one, I had creamy Lindt chocolate (the equivalent of a ball and a half); last night, stewed apples and cranberries and orange juice blended with cranberries, an apple, and some nutmeg. Tonight, I ate oatmeal with about a tablespoon and a half of cinnamon, some fennel seeds, other spices and strawberries plus juice.

Still jonesing a bit, though.

*sigh*

It's not necessarily a carb thing, because my brain says 'fuck potatoes! I want pumpkin mousse! chokky pudding! maple syrup!' Oh, but now that I just had fruit, I want nasty, greasy, super salty ruffles potato chips. Stupid carbs. Stupid brain. Stupid seasonal crap.

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15 November 2005 @ 09:54 pm

health crap
Grr for yeast. The treatment I'm putting myself through is making a difference starting this morning. I just wish I knew what kind of difference it is or will be. Right now, it's uncomfortably painful, but only intermittantly. Sucky McSucksters. I'll stick with it for a few weeks and I really need to be better about the whole minimal fruit business. And minimal dairy. Not so easy with the early darkness wreaking havoc with my brain making me think I need massive amounts of carbs in the form of sugar (craving fucking SUGAR COOKIES now). Fuck you, Nature! Fuck you, Brain! Harrumph! *scowl-pout*

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20 November 2005 @ 10:25 pm

Uncomfortably Numb
My tongue has been numb since Thursday afternoon.

I burnt it Wednesday night on some tea, but it wasn't a bad burn. I've had worse. Thursday afternoon, while visiting M., I tried a sublingual Biotin supplement and my tongue has been numb ever since.

I looked up biotin + numbness and found that biotin is supposed to help return feeling to numb areas of the body, not take it away. There is no known toxicity level; it is also water-soluble, so the body flushes what it doesn't need. Toxicity shouldn't be an issue. I've been afraid to take my own biotin since then, but maybe I should start again, if it's supposed to help. I just wish I knew what caused the problem.

When I scrape my tongue against my teeth, it still feels like the tastebuds haven't fully recovered from being burned. It normally takes a day or two and does NOT involve numbness. Tenderness, yes. Numbness? No. It's been four full days since I burned my tongue and three full days since it went numb.

I must have somehow damaged a nerve under my tongue. I'm really disturbed by this, since nothing really feels damaged. There are two tiny spots on the underside about 1/8-1/4 inch from the tip that feel ever so slightly inflammed. They straddle the middle dividing line. Could this be what is causing the problem? I'm a little lacking in tongue anatomy.

The entire front half of my tongue feels like it was sprayed with chloraseptic. I can still taste some sour things and presumably I can still taste bitter things -- the back half of my tongue isn't affected. But I can't taste salt nor can I taste sweet.

Apples taste like mush. I taste no sweetness at all. Hell, I even had a spoonful of brown rice syrup last night and all I got was blobby syrup in my mouth. No mildly sweet caramelly goodness anywhere to be found. I salted the hell out of my food last night because I couldn't taste it! And later, I loaded a dish with parmesan cheese, which I sometimes use as a salt substitute, and got absolutely nothing.

I have so many problems with food in general that it's a very cruel joke for me to not be able to even taste the food I can eat.

The tastebuds aren't yet fully healed (from what I can tell), and the front half is numb. There is no soreness, no throbbing, nothing that feels like tiny cuts or scrapes, no blistering, no bumps that aren't supposed to be there, no dryness, either.

Anyone have any thoughts? I got nothing.

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28 November 2005 @ 11:25 pm

Random update
My tastebuds are still a bit numb. I have most of the sour back, about half the salt, and I'm just starting to be able to taste sweet again. It's been a week and a half, but it's slowly healing, so I'm pleased.

Lynx got vegetable glycerin at the healthfood store for me. This is my stevia replacement: liquid sweet like white sugar, but safe for me and the best part is that it actually tastes good.

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23 December 2005 @ 01:26 am

adventures in baking
I made spiced apple cake with spelt flour. It looks perfect and the batter tasted good. Even picky Nikos approved. I have high hopes.

Tomorrow, I make pumpkin stuff. I baked a pumpkin today and now I have to figure out what to do with it. Nikos suggested pumpkin cranberry bread. I will likely do that plus a pumpkin custard. Or maybe pumpkin muffins. So many choices!

Handy baking tidbit: Spelt flour is a one-to-one substitution for wheat flour, but due to the density, add a bit more baking soda or baking powder, whichever one is acting as the rising agent. My recipe called for 1 tsp baking soda and I added an additional 1/4 tsp to great success. Yay!

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